Could you imagine getting an apartment with the person you love. Falling asleep beside each other, and waking up to see that cute little dopey smile they make when they first get up. You’d never have a bad start to your day, because they’d be the perfect start.
You know, not that this isn’t sweet at all, and true, but let me throw a dash of reality in there for you:
"And then, they fart. Loudly."
“After” - Portrait Contest Winner Illustration by Sam SprattSo first, thanks again to everyone who entered my portrait contest, they’re always fun for me to make. Rob, who won the whole shebang, gave me a few vague ideas to get inspired by, and let the rest unfold. He liked aspects of The Grey, and desolate, almost post-apolcalyptic in aesthetic environments — the minimal colors, extreme lighting, and graphic look of 300, and from his FB interests I noted a lot of top notch cinematic movies and TV shows like True Detective and Memento so wanted the pose and composition to give a more in-motion vibe than I usually am keen on. I sketched out a new pose from the references given, used myself and a shirt as a lighting reference, created a vague refinery scene, added small details from cuts and bruises to his girlfriend’s name carved into the butt of the rifle on his back, and began painting. Thanks for being an awesome subject matter with a hell of a beard, Rob.To everyone else, I’ll be sure to do this again, and you can of course always snag a print of many of my other works: HERE
Two new gizmos for DSLR slingin’ filmmakers!
The Oh! Wow. Ring Light gives you pro looking lighting (without a Hollywood budget).
Use the Focus Shifter to set your focal points before you shoot for butter smooth transitions.
you kids these days with your rapidly growing concern for the state of the world and your knowledge of important issues at increasingly younger ages despite having been told your opinions don’t matter by the adults who put you in these situations
I’m so done with this planet
she saved two lives and all they care about is her nipple.
this is sexism, my friends.
This is just fucking ridiculous! I’m sure the last thing she gave a shit about was her nipple coming out while she was SAVING HER CHILD AND THEIR NANNY!
You know the WORST thing about this?
She’s run into the surf to save them, and these fuckers are standing on the beach just watching and taking pictures.
Like, shit man, I’d go give her a hand!
And who cares if the goddamn thing (bikini top) slingshots off her chest and does a lap around the moon…?
Two lives were in the balance here, and yet all we focus on is her nipple?
Not that lives were in danger. Not that she was pretty much Aquawoman and saved people. Not that a bunch or people stood on the beach and watched it unfold, doing nothing but taking pics for tabloids.
Just the nipple.
They are shitting all over an event in her life that was probably quite worrying and/or traumatising, but also her most heroic moment.
Fuck the media. It’s all bullshit anyway.
Heidi’s a Hero.
Let me tell you about the sheer brilliance that is Meryl Streep and her creation of Miranda Priestly.
Ask any young woman what her favourite film of Meryl’s would be, and I’m quite certain that The Devil Wears Prada would come up in conversation, favourite or not. And it may seem like a generic answer: oh, a film about fashion, so obviously women would identify with it. No, that’s not it. This film isn’t about fashion. This film, as Meryl says, “is a story about a woman at the head of a corporate ladder who’s misunderstood, who’s motives and pressures on her are intense and who doesn’t have time to play certain nice games.”
And though screentime and first bill casting can indicate that Andrea Sachs is the main character, who are you really left thinking about at the end of the film?
Miranda Priestly — the woman who was written as a fictional equivalent to Anna Wintour from the novelist Lauren Weisberger’s experience as her assistant — in the novel was a raging, two-dimensional boss from Hell written only to antagonize and complicate the lives of her employees with impossible standards and even more impossible demands. She was expected to resemble Vogue’s editor-in-chief (Miranda’s office in the film a near replica of Anna’s), so imagine everyone’s fucking surprise the first day Meryl showed up on set wearing an untested wig white as snow, with a voice that never raised, where the most deadly delivery was a whisper.
But this scene on the right, this scene that hadn’t existed until Meryl went and thought, “wait a minute, there’s an imbalance of character here…” so she brought it to light and this was written. Sparingly, as it was said, yet one of the very few scenes to be altered in the entire film. This is how it went: Meryl showed up to the scene without any make-up. She walked in, didn’t talk to anybody, sat down and did it, got up and left, went downstairs and waited. She did this scene once.
And the thing is, this wasn’t meant for you to suddenly cheer for Miranda; it was to show you that she was human and that her success came with a costly price that hurt her the most. She thawed the Snow Queen, extinguished the flames of the fiery boss from Hell and gave her what she never had on paper: substance.
If completely reinventing a character from a subpar novel by giving her actual character and successfully distinguishing her from the woman she was based on isn’t considered pure talent, then I don’t know what is.
And the reason I am writing this
on the back of a manila envelope
now that they have left the train together
is to tell you that when she turned
to lift the large, delicate cello
onto the overhead rack,
I saw him looking up at her
and what she was doing
the way the eyes of saints are painted
when they are looking up at God
when he is doing something remarkable,
something that identifies him as God.
1. The best way to know when your asparagus is done is when you’re bored and don’t want to wait to eat it.
2. Breast cancer is a made of suck disease that attacks one of my very favourite organs of ladies.
3. Albert Einstien was a Physicist. Not a quotation…